Goal of Twin Flame Relationship

The goal of a Twin Flame relationship goes beyond personal. When you are ready for a Twin Flame relationship you have worked through most of your issues -with the help of Twin Souls in the past. This may have taken many lifetimes as we all had and have many wounds that need(ed) healing.
Because you have worked through most of your personal stuff, you are now ready to serve a higher purpose, together with your Twin Flame. This purpose is to experience unconditional love, which raises the vibration of mankind and the planet. It is not just you two, what you two create. The high vibration of Twin Flame love will connect with that of other Twin Flames. So together you create a very high vibrational field of unconditional love that will touch others all over the world. This will help other people to also raise their vibration and to grow and expand, to enter more loving and balanced relationships. When more people do so, the vibration of everything on our planet will go up even more.
This is the goal of a Twin Flame relationship. It is NOT personal, it is NOT the ultimate romantic love relationship. That’s NOT what it’s about. If you want that, you are better off in a soulmate relationship.
Why? Because it is NOT personal. It’s not about you getting all lovey dovey with another person, you are meant to serve a Higher Divine purpose…
Again, it is not about sitting on sofa, holding hands and feeding each other bonbons. It is about servitude. Not a 3D type of serving, which likely reminds you of plodding and slavery. I’m talking about a higher form of serving: As a soul we all came here with a goal, we all are love, we all want to give and share love, unconditionally. That type of serving is what I’m talking about. And that’s the type of serving that Twin Flames have to do.
Of course that’s not a mental decision, it’s what you’re ready for. What you want to do, what you long to do. It’s a Soul craving.
This is why you have to be ready for a Twin Flame relationship!! As long as you aren’t ready as an individual yet to do this kind of serving you aren’t ready. You will need to work through your personal stuff first so at some point you will be ready for it.
If reading that part about serving triggers resistance in you, you aren’t ready yet.
Good news is: That is okay! Where you are on your path is okay, regardless of where it is. It is just fine.

A bit more info on a Twin Flame relationship:
it isn’t always hunky dorey from the word go. Even though you have cleansed and worked through most of your issues, there are still some deeper things or last shreds of them that may need to be healed. For most that is the case. Oftentimes you aren’t aware of that, but a Twin Flame will trigger these things. They can do that because they touch you deeper than anyone else ever has before. So in a way they can get to things that even you may not have seen until they triggered you. In that sense they mirror you, but not like a Twin Soul does. It is different.
Nevertheless, it does mean you will have these things come up, and as they are the last and deepest hidden parts of issues, it can cause a lot of upheaval.
Isn’t that great! Just as you thought you worked through it all, more work to be done! But in my experience, this will go at the speed of light because you have the support of your Twin Flame AND because it truly are the last bits and pieces. You’ve already dumped the garbage bag, it’s cleaning the crumbs out of the bin that were left behind.
THIS AGAIN MEANS YOU HAVE TO BE READY: if you haven’t dumped the garbage bag yet, you cannot get to the crumbs.

And sorry to be so forceful about this, but so many people in the online Twin Flame community just don’t understand this concept. Feel it is about romantic love, finding ultimate love and living happily ever after. They don’t understand (yet) that first they have to do the work, that they have to get that garbage bag out of the bin in order to be ready for a connection like a Twin Flame.
And as Abraham Hicks says: There is no such thing as a quantum leap.
You cannot skip steps, there is no short-cut. Trust me, everyone who is with their Twin Flame has done the work. Many, many lifetimes, and mostly they’ve gone through more crappy stuff this life before they were ready to meet their Twin Flame.
It likely won’t go down well to hear, but most I’ve come across that seem to be with their Twin Flame -and not think they are out of co-dependency- are around 45-50 years old.
Most younger people I come across in the Twin Flame community who claim to be with their Twin Flame all display behavior and thoughts that clearly indicate they are not ready. And thus cannot be with their Twin Flame. They are likely with a Twin Soul.
Sorry… don’t shoot the messenger. But wanting to be with your Twin Flame doesn’t make you ready… Even more so, if you need to meet your Twin Flame, it’s a sign you aren’t ready. You are ready when you don’t need them, when you are not looking for them.
Embrace where you are on your path, albeit with a soulmate, Twin Soul or Twin Flame. Don’t try to make a quantum leap. Work on getting your growth by cleaning out any ‘garbage’ (issues, fears, insecurities, self-esteem). And trust that it will come. You do NOT need to be with your Twin Flame in order to be happy! Nor do you get a medal for meeting your Twin Flame.
Trust, embrace where you are, love yourself, and live a happy life.



Twin Flame Signs – list

This list is not exhaustive and I left out things you usually see that I do not agree with at all. (Often signs are stated that are Twin Soul signs, NOT Twin Flame ones.)

  • Meeting / recognition feels like coming home, at the same time as a beginning of a journey
  • You feel a deep connection, soul to soul
  • Connection is instant
  • Unconditional love
  • You don’t feel like changing the other
  • Sense of knowing each other (deeper than with a soulmate or Twin Soul)
  • Peculiar timing & ‘coincidence’: You want to phone or text each other at the same time. You think of eating pizza, find out later they had pizza. That sort of thing
  • You help each other grow. Can be spiritual, but not necessarily the case. I’d already been there, done that. For me reunion triggered manifestation of my goals in life. Things I was already busy with, some things took a completely different direction. It opened me up, got me closer to ‘me’. In that sense you could say it was spiritual, but I did not go through the spiritual awakening so many talk about, because I’d had that some 12 years prior to meeting him. So it depends on where you are on your path. If you haven’t had your spiritual awakening, it could get triggered upon meeting your TF.
  • You don’t doubt, deep down you know this is your Twin Flame
  • Sometimes you pick up each other’s thoughts and moods
  • Your personalities are complementary (2 poles of 1 being) but your norms & values are the same, maybe even your profession is the same
  • You had this feeling that you were going to meet someone special
  • No fear to be apart as the knowing you belong together is strong
  • Your individuality increases because of reunion with your TF
  • Hidden old pains and traumas can surface and can cause conflict. This can create a push-pull. You can help each other to work through these issues. This will only strengthen the bond you have.
  • You feel connected at a spiritual, mental, emotional, physical level
  • There were obstacles during reunion, things that made it difficult to get together. These could be personal or external problems (distance, family and so on)
  • Very similar/the same fundamental views. Oneness of vision, goal, feeling.
  • The differences between both TFs complement and increase the other’s perception. 1+1 is more than 2
  • No competition, instead a strong drive to support each other.
  • Same ability to love
  • Others are being influenced by the energy you create together
  • Around the time of meeting your TF you see a lot of 11:11, often 22’s as well. Any combination of these, but the strongest is 11:11.
  • Most say there are many differences because you mirror. I disagree. That’s Twin Souls, not Twin Flames. My TF and I have a ridiculous amount of similarities. Which makes sense: you are part of the same ‘unit’, so you can’t be vastly different.
  • This does not mean you are clones, exactly the same. You are not. You complement each other perfectly. You are Yin & Yang, and these aren’t the same, but they DO complement. There are differences, which is good: you need contrast, it is required for expansion and growth.
  • That means there can be mild mirroring (=growth), but this won’t cause irreconcilable conflicts. (that is more the Twin Soul relationship, NOT the Twin Flame one)
  • You can have similar physical problems.
  • Looking in each other’s eyes can be overwhelming
  • Both TFs grow in the relationship. The growth of one, will also increase or trigger growth in the other.
  • You have to be totally vulnerable. I always feel I simply have to be. I want to be. This has to do with the connection being so deep -soul to soul, no secrets- and also because you accept each other as is. You don’t feel the need to change one another. This can be scary, might cause some to want to run away from the connection…
  • You cannot separate once connection has been made. Even if you do physically part, you will always remain connected
  • You will meet out of the blue, when you least expect it. That makes looking for him/her pointless. When you are ready, the Cosmos will orchestrate reunion. And typically, like with any romantic relationship, it happens when you are not looking for it, because then you don’t need the connection. Needing it, means you’re co-dependent, and a Twin Flame relationship cannot be sustained with co-dependency. It will make it painful, likely create runner-chaser dynamic which is far from pleasant.


  • Age difference. Not always. We have a 4 year age gap.
  • One runs, the other chases. This can happen, mostly has to do with not being ready for this high vibrational connection yet. It is usually caused by co-dependency issues that still need to be worked out. But runner-chaser doesn’t occur in every Twin Flame relationship. It just depends who much stuff you have already worked out. If you don’t have co-dependency or commitment issues I doubt it will happen.

    Hope this helps people out there to get more clarity what you’re dealing with!


Twin Flame Signs – Part 1

How to tell if someone is your Twin Flame or not? This is a bit tricky, as the similarities with a Twin Soul or Soul Mate relationship can be substantial.
Mostly people say “You’ll know he/she is your Twin Flame!” but even that can be tricky, because when the ego is involved… We can so want someone to be that one other half of our soul, that we cannot see clearly. Or we can simply not trust our own inner voice and intuition.
It can be handy to go through a list of signs that could indicate you indeed have met your Twin Flame.
So here it goes!

(TF = Twin Flame)

– Strong sense that you know each other
There’s an instant connection and a feeling you have known each other before.
In my case: Yes. One way or another he looked familiar, in another way he did not as I’d never seen him before this life. That first meeting was odd because it felt so familiar. It was like coming home. Belonging. Being where I was supposed to be; in his arms. Truly home. He felt the same way. We couldn’t stop touching each other. Nothing sexual, just touching, feeling. We simply had to feel each other. That always reminds me of the lyrics of “Starving” by Hailee Steinfeld; “I didn’t know that I was starving till I tasted you.” That’s what it felt like, as if we’d been starved for one another and had to refill a void we didn’t even know we had. And I’m not talking about a void inside that you should fill yourself. It is not the same as the ‘co-dependency void’.

– eye-contact is intense and special
 Most say that when you look in your TF’s eyes you see yourself. Maybe that is the case for some, but I don’t feel that way. So if you don’t either, it’s not a given that they aren’t your TF. However, eye-contact is extremely intense, unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before. It does go deep, it is an energy exchange of sorts, it’s mesmerizing. Oftentimes I find it difficult to break eye-contact because it feels so good. When we have a special moment of eye-contact, it fills me with joy, warmth. My heart (chakra) opens up, I can totally lose myself in his eyes without losing myself, if that makes sense. I don’t even want to speak during such moments, I just want to revel in the eye-contact. It’s difficult to describe it, but trust me, it’s amazing. But I don’t consciously feel like “Hey, I’m looking at myself.”
Him: When he looks in my eyes he often has this sense of “I have known you before.” Especially when I laugh and he is looking in my eyes. As our gazes meet and I laugh, he feels like he knows my laugh, that he’s seen and heard it before.
So yes, eye-contact is important, special. Unusual in one way or another.
Eyes are the mirrors of our soul, and I feel with your TF they are the way ‘in’. Eye-contact allows you to get to the core with your TF. Like a portal to the his/her soul. I think with other people there’s more masks and walls etc. With your TF those aren’t really there. That’s why it’s so deep.

– Distance: You often don’t live close together
This is mostly so that you can work out your own things before you reunite. You sometimes read that people are in another country or on another continent even. But this isn’t necessarily the case. Distance is perceived differently in different countries. For an American or Australian a 1 hour drive is peanuts. In my country it’s “Dang, that’s quite the drive!” The way literal distance is an obstruction also depends on various factors. For instance, a 1 hr drive in my country can sometimes take 2-3 hours. My country is small, and tends to be one major traffic-jam. Money is a factor as well. If your TF is on the other side of the world and neither has money to travel to meet… Big problem. If you have a nice job and money isn’t such a big deal, you’d shrug, buy the ticket and go.
So don’t take distance too literal. For some a 1000 miles could be easier to overcome than a 100 miles for others.
In my case: we are 2 hours apart, and yes, that is quite the obstacle.

– External circumstances make it difficult to be / get together
This is for the same reasons as what I said under “Distance”. Of course distance itself is also an external circumstance, but there can also be other factors involved. Work, study, family, whatever. But mostly these obstructing factors are external, out of your control. I think these can and will be dissolved when both are ready for reunion.
In my case: His work situation. (and being 2 hours apart)
Benefit: We both still have our own things to work out before we can be together. I still get triggered an awful lot and he also has some wounds that need more healing. Had we been closer together and/or had his work not been a factor, we would’ve been together very often because the longing is so intense. We would not be able to stop it. The chances of us making it would be reduced by that, because this purging really is necessary if we want to get to a stable relationship.

– Energy between you / heart chakra opening
Your heart beat quickens when you’re together, or you feel your heart chakra opening, pulsing.
In my case: We met and hugged -I’d promised him a hug-, grin- he mentioned that he felt a lot of energy between us. Heat. He still often feels that. He’s also mentioned that he felt heat high up on my back, the backside of my Higher Heart chakra (thymus chakra).
I mostly feel my heart chakra pulsing, opening wide. This feeling can be so strong it’s almost painful. I also get that when I think of him.

– You trigger each other
This connection is meant to be pure and high so that you can fulfill the higher purpose of this reunion for mankind and the planet. That means that any issues you still have that can obstruct this will have to be worked out. If you still have (ego) issues to work out, fears, doubts, insecurities etc., they will surface and they can be totally overwhelming. This is a process that should be embraced. It’s purging, healing, making you more whole as an individual. And it is imperative to get to reunion and/or to make reunion work. That doesn’t mean it’s pleasant, nor easy.
It mostly has to do with getting rid of any co-dependency. A TF relationship can never have co-dependency. It is not possible. To be ready for this union you have to get rid of any such issues. This because of the higher purpose of this reunion.
Because what comes up can be so overwhelming you get the ‘runner & chaser’ thing that you read about so often. Some can’t handle the things that come up and run away from the connection. Often the other ends up chasing, overgiving and so on.
My case: Did I get triggered? Hell yes! Meeting him is one of the most beautiful things that ever happened to me, at the same time it was like getting on a wild roller-coaster ride. I’m still on it, although the ride gets smoother.
Did he get triggered, yes. We were both overwhelmed by the depth of the connection, and by the speed that connection was made. It wasn’t even made, it was simply there from the moment I opened my front door and we laid eyes on each other.

– Accelerated growth
Most say you go through accelerated spiritual growth. I say you go through accelerated growth. Not necessarily spiritual. Spiritual is a vague statement anyways. I rather speak of “personal growth”. Spiritual growth IS personal growth, yet not everyone considers personal growth to be spiritual, hence me making this distinction.
You will grow because of what gets triggered by the other. And you work through these things real fast. Fast is relative, let’s say ‘faster than you would have without your TF.” So it can still take 2 years, or longer, but then it would have taken you 10 years without your TF. So it’s still fast.
I know I’m being elaborate, but I want people to really understand and not think “Fast means approx 2 weeks. I can’t do it in 2 weeks, so he/she isn’t my TF.”
You will also grow spiritually, but I feel this is very different for everyone. You may become more intuitive, sensitive.
My Case: I already was very intuitive and sensitive, and I don’t feel this increased after I met him. It is easier for me to get in touch with my Higher Self, the real ‘me’, because he truly sees me for who I am. And I can really be authentic around him because he doesn’t judge. That makes it far easier for me to connect with my Higher Self. So in that sense you could say it did stimulate my spiritual growth.

So far part 1 of the signs. There will be more!


New Year & Feng Shui

One week into the new year, and off to a great start!
I had my own private fireworks show in my garden (the neighbours at the back clearly got money to spend!), we had the full moon on the 5th, which felt really great! In actual fact it helped inspire me to get my new website going, and if you’re reading this, you have found it!

I really felt like making a fresh start, so I cleaned up all the Christmas deco on the 2nd. Normally I am reluctant to get rid of the tree, now it was like cleaning up what belonged to 2014.
Once all the boxes with Christmas deco were back in the loft, I wanted to do something new with the corner the tree had been in. According to Feng Shui, that is the relationship corner, and I felt it could use a boost. I’m single, but I don’t intend to remain that way. So I got out a little square white shelf I’d had for months, my drill and screws, and I got on with it. I put the shelf 50 cm above the floor, like a mini altar, which is what I’d had in mind.
Fountain small I got out my little room fountain and put that on the shelf. The fountain is like a niche with a bench in it, and on it is a love couple, embracing and kissing each other. I put rose quartz tumbles and small red roses around it. Plugged it in and wow! The gentle trickling sound of water, the light underneath the love couple, it felt so right!

I’m also working on applying Feng Shui in my bedroom.
Apparently you should remove family pictures, cuddly toys and the likes from your bedroom. Basically everything that doesn’t have a romantic vibe.
That made me thing of the embroidered cushions on my bed. I really like them, but I also remember my ex’s reaction when he first stayed the night a long time ago. He picked up one of the cushions, decorated with shimmering beads, chucking it out with the words: “I don’t want to wake up in the morning thinking I’m a faggot!”
Even though it made me laugh, I felt he was overreacting. But now, having heard this thing about cuddly items in the bedroom, I’m thinking that maybe I should have taken his reaction more seriously (what did I know? You live and learn, right!) So maybe I should put the cushions elsewhere. I will sulk about that though!

I have a few landscape paintings above my bed, I made them myself. And they got to go somewhere, so why not there? But lovely as they are, they don’t inspire love and romance, but rather solitude and serenity.
I want a different painting there, one that does inspire love, maybe a little passion, as I’m quite a passsionate person. I still had a large canvas to paint, so I prepped it. The theme for the painting will be “Love, Romance & Passion”.
And you know what? I haven’t a clue what should go on there? Isn’t that something! I’m trying to visualize what love, romance and passion mean to me, so I can paint it. And I really don’t know!

For now it remains a white canvas. Sort of like my love life ..